apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
