it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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