I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize