Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
