nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
