I'm eating all of the evidence.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
