i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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