They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize