The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
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