i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize