guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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