i used baking grease as lip gloss
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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