my being single is dangerous.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
