"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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