oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
