Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
