I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
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Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
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Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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