I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's never too late to be topless.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
