Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
