We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
where are my eyebrows?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
