How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.