Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What did I say to him last night?

  (385): View more from Utah

  Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  all in all not a bad night

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  (717): What did I say to him last night? (385): Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you" (717): all in all not a bad night http://tfl.nu/f7xd
  Replies (5) Good night (1607) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak

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  (952): I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak http://tfl.nu/wxhv
  Replies (29) Good night (930) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.

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  (718): Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't. http://tfl.nu/3gl0
  Replies (15) Good night (1259) Bad night (4877)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

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  (315): Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library. http://tfl.nu/bcrx
  Replies (16) Good night (4494) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
  Replies (50) Good night (3737) Bad night (5519)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.

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  (217): I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex. http://tfl.nu/8evv
  Replies (65) Good night (3696) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.

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  (708): Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity. http://tfl.nu/m9p5
  Replies (53) Good night (1728) Bad night (7920)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Someone shattered a urinal.

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  (678): Someone shattered a urinal. http://tfl.nu/a493
  Replies (8) Good night (1737) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.

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  (709): I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her. http://tfl.nu/w26o
  Replies (10) Good night (2175) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  what about money

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  no - he has a code he lives by

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  (610): they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n (484): what about money (610): no - he has a code he lives by http://tfl.nu/tp7q
  Replies (11) Good night (2537) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.

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  (817): Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/nfnq
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.

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  (253): For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo. http://tfl.nu/ryca
  Replies (3) Good night (1207) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.

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  (562): I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me. http://tfl.nu/171n
  Replies (3) Good night (1401) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.

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  (941): She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love. http://tfl.nu/cbee
  Replies (3) Good night (202) Bad night (559)

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