I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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