Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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