So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.