Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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