I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize