I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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