the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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