just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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