How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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