She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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