We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
