Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize