omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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