I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
