Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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