He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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