I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
