Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
