Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I supernannyed him into submission
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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