Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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