taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
