It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I AM VODKA MAN
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
