Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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