worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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