I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
