She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i came on her dog
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
