Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
