No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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