omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
