This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
