i jhust puked up my retainher.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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