Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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