He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
