if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
