I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
