Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
