Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
