Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
His hands were made for my vagina.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
