i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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