Cold hands, warm shart.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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